


The Wine Thief

by Sitriga



Series: Spy Emily AU [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: (not only the ones you'd expect), Expensive Wines, F/F, Pancakes, Spy!Emily, Traps, Very Confused! Lena Oxton, Widowmaker has footages, Wine Snob!Widowmaker, but everyone knew that, kinda crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 13:43:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15002111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sitriga/pseuds/Sitriga
Summary: Widowmaker is making renovations to her chateau when an alarm in her phone goes off, and she sees movement on the cellar.It seems that the traps she placed there caught a thief, but this one is nothing she'd expect - especially when she realizes they're Tracer's girlfriend...





	The Wine Thief

**Author's Note:**

> I have the people on the WidowTracer discord server to thank for this idea, especially [IrisSteth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrisSteth). You always come up with the most awesome fic babies, thank you so much!

Widowmaker spent the whole afternoon making renovations in the left wing of her chateau. It relaxed her mind strangely, giving her a kind of focus similar to the preparations before a mission. Finding hints of her old life hiding in the corners of bookshelves and side tables was like hunting for chocolate eggs in Easter, except she wouldn’t feel sick after eating too much sugar. Changing the furniture, carpets and colors gave the place new life, and meaning, exactly what she was going through herself, concealed from Talon.

A faint beep caught her attention when she was almost finished painting the reading room, and she sighed dramatically as she cleaned her hands on a piece of cloth and reached for the phone in her pocket. There was a security alert flashing on the screen, and Widowmaker slid it to project holographic screens in front of her, showing the security footage for the chateau. A screen down the far left caught her attention and she enlarged it, catching a glimpse of movement in the edge of the image. She smiled. Two holo-buttons pressed and someone was yanked up violently by the leg, hanging from the ceiling. She knew the traps she installed would come in handy sometime.

Widowmaker took a knife and a pistol from a concealed safe behind a painting and went down the stairs to the cellar humming a quite happy song. Time to see who the spider had caught on her net. Maybe an Overwatch agent? Maybe  _ the _ Overwatch agent…?

No. It was some other woman - a face she didn’t recognize and red hair falling all over. When Widowmaker arrived she was trying to reach her trapped leg pitifully, and was startled by the sidelights suddenly turning on.

“Who are you?” Widowmaker hissed in French, visibly annoyed. She was wasting time there.

“Uh… Pizza delivery?” The woman replied, also in French, trying to smile as the sniper circled her to have a better look. “Wait , no, you’re rich - escargot express!”

Widowmaker squinted and put the knife on a perfect perpendicular to the woman’s forehead, right between her eyes. “You can say or I can start carving out your pretty face _. _ The choice is yours.” As she made the ginger stay very still with that threat, Widowmaker started recognizing the woman, even upside down and very red from the blood pooling in her head. “You’re Tracer’s girlfriend!” She scoffed.

The girlfriend let out a nervous laughter. “Yes…? Listen, I can explain everything, but would you mind terribly setting me down? I’m starting to feel very lightheaded here…”

Widowmaker, dramatic as she was, gave her a little smirk and turned away from her, making a show of selecting the proper glass and a bottle of wine, opening it and pouring herself a drink. Only after she took the first sip of her wine she turned back to Emily, her eyes full of a smug satisfaction.

She found only an empty space and a deactivated trap.

 

\--  
  


In order to get her visor and scan the chateau for Emily’s heat signature, the sniper strode towards the safe room where she kept her gear, cursing mentally at how she let herself be somehow fooled by someone who looked so… Mundane. Urgh. She should have known better.

Anyway, before she could reach the room her phone started vibrating on her pocket and suddenly started a voice call, a muffled voice coming out of it.

“I’m sorry about leaving you there, Widow, you were clearly enjoying yourself.” Emily said in clear - and very British - English.

Widowmaker almost sent her phone flying as she pulled it out of her pocket with too much strength.

“What do you want?!” She replied, her voice bearing the promise of a slow and painful death.

“You know, some stuff. Oh look at that… You do have a lot of info on my Lena, don’t you darling?” She had the annoying tone of voice Sombra used with the sniper all the time, the tone of someone who knew more than they should. “So many footages… Oh,  _ this night _ ! I’m curious, did you watch the whole thing? The window was open, after all…” She chuckled in a very devious way.

Footages. In her computer. She was in her room.

_ Found you, _ Widowmaker thought as she finished locking the clasps of the grappling hook bracer, picked up the Widow’s Kiss and flung herself up the staircase.

She didn’t even have to open the door, Emily left it wide open for her as an ironic sort of invitation and, once again, she vanished before Widowmaker could reach her.

“Tsk.” The sniper wouldn’t admit to herself, but that was starting to get quite exciting for her - it turned into a hunt, and everybody knew the Guillards were always the hunters. 

She did have an edge, though. Her visor activated, sliding over her eyes, and the heat signature module tinged the world in dark red and bright colors. ...Or it should have, but neither that nor the magnifying vision worked. 

“What did you do?!” She snarled to the phone, sliding the visor back up and forgetting completely to check the hacked computer.

“I can’t have you tracking me, Widow. That would be so unfortunate.”

“I know where you live.” She replied, sharp.

Emily giggled. “That you do. Drop by sometime, we could have some tea and talk about Lena’s butt - I know you love it, it’s just perfect alright.”

Widowmaker couldn’t really deny that, but it  _ really _   wasn’t the point. “As if I’d join the likes of you for anything.”

“Such a meanie. Are you trying to convince yourself of that? Because there’s absolutely no way that’ll work, you know. Friend’s advice. Your crush on Lena is just too strong.”

She ran out of her room, checking each of the others on that floor, but it was as if the ginger had just disappeared in thin air. No sign of her on the security cameras or the sensors, the chateau looked as peaceful as it had been the last few days the sniper had been there. Such an elusive fox, she was… But she couldn’t have crossed the lake. There was no way of doing that without getting caught on the hidden hardlight traps.

“When I find you I’ll be sure to record everything and send to your annoying girlfriend, ginger.” Widowmaker ended up on her reading room, where this all started. It was also empty, of course.

“How did you know about my exibitionist kink, darling?” She replied, and Widowmaker stopped on her tracks, really confused for a moment.

“I-I’m not trying to bed you!” She sounded a bit flustered, and if Emily was watching, she would totally have seen the way her periwinkle skin turned a darker shade of purple in embarrassment. She’d even say it was lovely.

“Shame. Lena would love the tape.”

“Don’t drag me into your perversion!” She shouted back, and Emily downright laughed.

“Oh Widow, it was so nice playing with you but I got a flight to take now. Thank you for the entertainment!”

Widowmaker hated that her prey was suddenly playing with her. It was humiliating, just like losing a fight to her fashion-atrocity girlfriend. She had to do something. She had to put a bullet to her head and see the cheeky smile fading away from her face. Yes, that would be such a sweet revenge. 

“I left you a little gift in the cellar to mark our first encounter, darling. I hope you like it. Goodbye!”

Before the sniper noticed, she saw herself at the cellar door. She hated following Emily’s direction, but it was a good idea to check on said gift, a standard safety procedure, really. Who knew if could tell it wasn’t a bomb, after all?

She tried the visor one more time before entering, and this time the heat vision turned on as if nothing happened. She saw an human signature far, far up, probably at the roof, and she watched as a flying vessel approached like a bolt out of nowhere, picked it up and vanished just as quickly.

She sighed. What a bother.

With Emily definitely gone, Widowmaker turned her attention back to the cellar. There was no signature indicative of any concealed device, bomb or anything else, really. Not even the lights seemed to be on. It could still be a sort of mechanical trap, though, and she was cautious as she entered the place and turned on the lights.

There seemed to be papers a bit ahead, neatly arranged besides each other. Upon getting closer, the sniper noticed they were photos, but not any photos - photos of Tracer.

Widowmaker felt really offended at that, she grabbed and quickly skimmed through them, making annoyed noises as she saw very casual shots of Tracer, apparently taken when she was off duty, if the fairly common and surprisingly not flashy clothes were an indicative. They were the sort of photos people took of each other, rather than marketing pieces: in one she was sitting on a carpet, looking delighted that a cat had laid down on her lap; in another one she had sunglasses and made the victory sign for the camera, with the Coliseum as a background; in a third one she laid down on a couch, wearing just a tanktop and shorts, hair absolutely disheveled and a peaceful expression as she slept hugging a pillow. There were half a dozen more like these, and even if Widowmaker wanted to throw them away in disgust, she also was drawn to check each one, even if quickly, and she turned them to see there was handwriting on the back of them. Most were teasing comments about how Lena was adorable and/or hot, but two in special were very informative:

 

_ You know Widow, I feel a bit bad for wiping out your hardwares and taking everything. I leave you these pictures in hope that you won’t suffer from Tracer-deprivement (again: you had so much on her that I bet you tried to update it daily, didn’t you? There were some details wrong, but impressive work nonetheless!).  _

_ Let me tell you, they’re top quality - you won’t find them anywhere, as I took them all myself (sadly I can never persuade her to let me click her being all naughty and sexy, so no nudes right now, sorry) and you’ll able to look at them when you feel oh so lonely until you start building your database again. Yes, you’re welcome. _

_ Ps.: You have such an amazing wine collection, darling. I’m impressed. _

 

Widowmaker’s desire to kill Emily only deepened at every word she read (such petulance!), but at the mention of her wines, all of that was replaced by sheer terror. She flew to the shelves, checking her rare, sometimes unique bottles, and she found out there were three of them missing.

Teasing and stealing data from her was a thing. Stealing her  _ wine _ was  _ a completely different one _ .

She had to make a visit to a certain apartment in London as soon as possible.  
  


\--  
  


“Woah love, this wine is really good!” Lena put the glass down with a silly, enthusiastic smile that always warmed Emily inside. “Where did you get it?”

“Oh you know, places.” Emily replied, leaning her chin on her hands, watching.

Lena tilted her head to a side, curious. “Places, riiiight.” She chuckled. Stuff and  _ places _ were their personal codes for things they couldn’t tell each other because of their very peculiar lines of work. And to think it had only been a couple of months that she discovered about Emily’s work as a spy…! It was surprisingly easy to accept it, more than she’d have thought. Her theory now was that when you work seeing as much oddity as she faced in Overwatch, you can really accept anything.

“So, how are things in Gibraltar? Is Winston still food poisoned by all the peanut butter?” Emily cut and ate a piece of her pancakes. Lena had cooked them in the blink of an eye after she’d mentioned she craved them when they woke up. It was so lovely how much she cared and tried to make her happy. There was really no way Emily wouldn’t fall in love with a woman like that.

“Oh no, Angela took care of that… But she also put him on a strict diet and he’s gruuuumpy, you should’ve seen his face!” She giggled. “Actually, I think I may have some photos here…!”

A loud sound of glass doors colliding with each other was heard, and both women immediately walked towards the balcony, seeing Widowmaker striding into their living room with fury deep in her eyes.

Lena jumped to her feet and ran towards her, standing in her way. “What the fuck are you doin--”

The sniper shoved her aside and kept going towards Emily.

“ _ You!” _ She snarled. “You. Stole.  _ My. Wine! _ ”

Lena’s jaw dropped. So that was where Emily got it?!

“You steal glances at my girlfriend, I steal your wine. All’s fair in love and war.” Emily replied softly, picking Lena’s glass up and taking a sip. “Ah, wonderful.”

Widowmaker stared at her drinking like she could see every drop of wine going into her mouth and down her throat, and wanted to slice her neck it just to take them back.

“Em, I think it may not be very wise to, you know, tease her right now…” Lena said gingerly from the couch, her expression still perplexed.

“Give me  _ one _ reason not to kill you right now.” The sniper picked up the Widow’s kiss from her back and pointed it right at Emily, who didn’t even flinch. Instead she smiled excitedly and got up.

“Oh I can give you several! First, Lena would be very sad if you did that. Second, why don’t you sit down and eat with us? Lena made pancakes, they’re irrefusable.” She winked to her girlfriend. “Anyway, I’m going to get the other three bottles and give them back to you, we can all enjoy this one. What do you say?”

By the confused look in her face, that was not what Widowmaker was expecting to hear. “...Why did you  _ really _ steal them?”

“To bring you over here, of course - Lena has been dying to invite you over, but we both knew you just wouldn’t come without the right incentive. Besides, where else would I find a bottle of  _ Domaine Leroy Richebourg 2011 _ ?” She made a meaningful pause, with a raise of eyebrow for emphasis, then she continued. “I’m going to get the bottles. Have fun!”

Both Lena and Widowmaker watched as she gave her back and went to the bedroom like she was walking in the park, then the sniper slowly put her rifle back and turned to the Overwatch Agent.

“F-for the record, I had nothing to do with this!” Lena stuttered. “I didn’t even know about the wine, she just opened it and--”

“She knew I was coming, that’s why she opened it.” Widowmaker rolled her eyes. “You wanted to invite me here?”

“Uh… yeah?” She scratched the back of her neck, blushing slightly. “Look, there must be very lonely on that mansion on the lake, and…

“Very well. Let me try your ‘irrefusable’ pancakes.” 

Lena took a moment to absorb the words, but then the smile she opened was just like the morning sun. She jumped to her feet and headed to the table. “Sure! Let me grab some for you…!”

 

\--

 

Emily took a really long time to come back from the bedroom, and when she did, she found Widowmaker and Tracer talking about cooking shows, of all things, and the french woman commenting on the atrocities she watched in some of them. She sat in front of them both and passed the bottles of wine to Widowmaker, informing her she had opened the less expensive one (although it was still very expensive) because even her couldn’t commit the crime of opening one of the top wines for Lena to eventually drink it with a straw, and that made the sniper snort with amusement. The likes of them weren’t bad at all, she noticed, but would absolutely not attest to it out loud.

The three of them were having a good time, Emily and Widowmaker eventually getting to the topic of Lena’s fashion sense and really teasing her over it, when the front door snapped open with a loud  _ BAM _ and Sombra walked into the room, looking furious, and pointed to Emily.

“How did you bypass my firewalls in  _ araña _ ’s house?!”

Emily looked from Lena (who had eyes wide as plates) to Widowmaker (who tried to contain the laughter), and back to Sombra.  

“Oh, boy…”  
  


\--


End file.
